Happy Father's Day to My Husband

Father's Day is always hard for me. I was blessed with two and lost them both within five months of each other. I miss them every day, but each year on Father's Day, it always brings back the memories that they are no longer here. My parents divorced when I was very young and both parents re-married. I was blessed beyond belief that my parents got along and raised us together, rather than a "them v. us" mentality. Every kid deserves that, because divorce is never their fault, although they end up suffering the most.

My children have not been as lucky as I was as a child. Their father and I have failed them in co-parenting. Their father and I have failed them in so many ways. I'm sorry for the suffering it has caused them and I am sorry that they never got to experience the ability of having a guilt free relationship with both sides of their families.

I'm not sorry for this though. I'm not sorry that they have an outstanding man in their lives in their stepfather. My husband and I have been married almost 7 years. He came into our lives at a tumultuous time and when God knew we would need him the most.

Addi had just started showing the signs of addiction, although I wasn't fully realizing the magnitude. He felt I was being too hard on her, and actually one of our very first arguments was about her. He gave her the benefit of the doubt when I was no longer doing so. Even though at the time, he had no children of his own, he showed mine the love and support that they had long deserved and needed. He had a wonderful stepfather of his own, who set a loving example of how to fully love children you didn't biologically create. He even gave his stepfather a kidney--that is how much he loved his stepfather. I was very blessed to find a man who opened his heart and soul to me and my children.

Through the last 7 years, my husband has been the unsung hero. He's been the man behind the scenes. The one who provided health coverage for treatment centers; the one who stood strong when I needed him; and the one who wiped my tears; and the one who told me to "turn back on the phone" because he would rather pay the monthly fee than me wonder all night if my daughter was alive or dead. He has been my rock. He has been my anchor. He is the one that sat with me at hospital waiting rooms. He's the one who was willing to whip someone's butt if they stepped on our front porch when we were trying to keep them safe. He has also been my children's anchor and I really haven't given him the credit he has truly deserved.

Last week when their father was a no-show to my son's wedding--it was my husband that stepped up and gave the "Father's toast"--it was my husband who stepped up and sat beside me as the "Father of the Groom." It was he who went to every single, solitary sporting event my son ever played in for the last 7 years.  It was he who gives our boys, now ages 4 and 23, golf tips and is harder on one than the other because he considers their age and abilities. He will drive hundreds of miles to get home for a 45 minute t-ball game. It is my husband who was there for high school graduation, rehab graduation, and college graduation, baptisms and Senior Days. He was proud of them like he created them. He never has given up on Addi, even though he's been mad as all get out at her. He is the reason she got to come home to live the last two times she was here. He was the one who forgave and forgave again. He is the one who is appreciative of a loving Father's Day card or a colored picture from a 4 year old. He expects nothing and gives a lot. I thank God every single day for his presence in our lives.

It was my husband, who has suffered the brunt of the bad and dark sides of addiction---yet, he still stood by our side.

So on this Father's Day--thank you to the man who stood up to the plate, when we had no one else in the dug out or even on our team.

You are truly my hero and we love you.