To Addi--You WILL Be There

Received my weekly call from Addi tonight. Since we just visited her she was somewhat down, somewhat homesick for her family. I think seeing her brother, made her miss him even more. She said it was a rough day today. She said she has extreme guilt for not being at his June wedding. She said she feels guilt for missing so many things important to him over the years and this is the biggest day of his life. Ever since we hung up the phone, thoughts are flooding my brain about this topic. 

Dearest Addi:

It WILL be the most important day of his life, for sure. He is marrying the love of his life, and a girl that he has been dating since 11th grade. His future wife has had to become familiar with the pain and sorrow that addiction brings to families and she has seen Austin suffer immensely from worry...but on this special day, we get to celebrate two things--them being united in marriage---and also, that our Addi is ALIVE!

He and I talked a lot this weekend about you not being there and he is insistent that you will not. He is adamant that you will not make this trip back to this area sooner than planned for his wedding. He is adamant that no rules will be stretched and no accommodations made because you are EXACTLY where he wants you to be. He says that you being there is the GREATEST GIFT you could ever give him. 

He feels strongly that this day in his life, although a huge day, is just a small part of the many days and memories that you will get to enjoy together in the future with your growing families. He would much rather have his sister around to enjoy for many years to come, than risk the progress by stepping foot back into this war zone of drugs. As a mom, it rips at my heart. Of course, I always wanted to see my babies in each other's weddings--but I support him 100% in this decision and to be honest, its not an option any way, so you shouldn't feel any guilt about it. You simply cannot come. You have your own "main event" to attend, which is called "Saving your life."

I want you know, that from the moment he was born, he looked up to you with such love and adoration and you were always his protector. As the years have gone on, your roles have reversed and now he protects you---but nothing, no one, no single event in this world can ever break the bond that the "AD's" have. I am grateful that he is marrying a woman who feels the same way about her brother, therefore she appreciates and respects the love he has for you.  

I want you to know that you will be with all of us in spirit, in a great spirit rather than a dooming sadness of a note transcribed in a wedding script that says "In memory of Addison" as you very well could have been. None of us thought you would make it to his wedding. We thought your funeral would be held before his wedding day would ever come. We are all just so thankful, grateful, blessed and happy that you are there, alive, and can celebrate, even if on the wedding night, you are celebrating the new lives with your six friends. I will even send you girls some party favors.  We will ensure the day is just as special for you as it is for all of us---because you WILL be with us. You WILL be there.

Addi, you are never away from home. You may not see us every day but the battle you are fighting and the bravery you have shown, truly is the best gift you can ever give your brother. Truly. He's been waiting 6 years for this gift. 

With this little cheesy poem, I close this topic...

"You were there for him from the day he was born, right from the very start...

You will be with him on his wedding day, because you are always in his heart."

All of us are excited for this new chapter in his life and we are all so very blessed to know, your chapter is still being written and we will all be together again soon and the greatest memories in your own life are yet to be had. Please know that you are right where you belong and we are blessed by it. Maybe someday in the future, he can walk you down the aisle and give you away to a good, Christian man like you deserve...let's wait about 3 years for that though. :)

So don't you worry. You will be there. You will be in our hearts, minds, thoughts and prayers. He will be able to fully enjoy this day knowing you are safe and healthy. His miracle sister will await his next visit. Your life is a gift. The best gift. 

 He and Jordan love you very much.